elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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