So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
