Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now

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(303): View more from Colorado

I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

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(765): View more from Indiana

I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.

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(613): View more from Ontario

If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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(585): View more from New York

They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.

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