I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
