my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize