turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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