we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
