He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
