This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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