How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
