So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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