That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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