i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
