He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
