The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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