Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
