I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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