I CAN MOONWALK!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
