think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
