Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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