winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
whose parrot is this?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
