whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
