yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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