i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
please don't ironically join a cult
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