i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
