So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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