Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.

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(619): View more from California

You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything

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(919): View more from North Carolina

yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(778): View more from British Columbia

I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.

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(775): View more from Nevada

It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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(541): View more from Oregon

It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner

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