just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to