Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
