Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

(914): View more from New York

so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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(443): so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse (914): so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though http://tfl.nu/1ux5

Replies (11) Good night (4233) Bad night (530)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.

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(816): I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book. http://tfl.nu/rwum

Replies (44) Good night (775) Bad night (10373)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied

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(609): I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied http://tfl.nu/rkdz

Replies (18) Good night (954) Bad night (4067)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"

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(228): thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God" http://tfl.nu/z3qu

Replies (3) Good night (5524) Bad night (1078)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye

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(336): Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye http://tfl.nu/fu4x

Replies (25) Good night (3535) Bad night (941)
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(802): View more from Vermont

think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....

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(802): think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight.... http://tfl.nu/1kod

Replies (9) Good night (897) Bad night (1378)
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(360): View more from Washington

Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?

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(360): Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot? http://tfl.nu/quvh

Replies (22) Good night (828) Bad night (2913)
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(585): View more from New York

we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night

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(585): we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night http://tfl.nu/lrrw

Replies (18) Good night (2705) Bad night (641)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous

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(610): I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous http://tfl.nu/uqnx

Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (1036)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.

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(215): There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her. http://tfl.nu/lhzd

Replies (11) Good night (1238) Bad night (394)
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(815): View more from Illinois

After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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(815): After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin. http://tfl.nu/me1g

Replies (3) Good night (921) Bad night (420)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?

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(828): Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis? http://tfl.nu/tjmy

Replies (12) Good night (832) Bad night (239)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Really? A fat girl?

(1-206): View more from Washington

I'm walking her back. Chill out.

(1-206): View more from Washington

She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.

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(612): Really? A fat girl? (1-206): I'm walking her back. Chill out. (1-206): She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though. http://tfl.nu/xw6d

Replies (19) Good night (744) Bad night (335)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle

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(804): i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle http://tfl.nu/e8dz

Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (208)
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(513): View more from Ohio

It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust

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(513): It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust http://tfl.nu/67aa

Replies (2) Good night (231) Bad night (700)

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