He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.