Don't make out with my wife yet
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering