Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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