Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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