A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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