So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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