I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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