Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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