Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
