4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
