is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
