And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
