Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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