I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
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Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
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Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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