babies were throwing up all over the place
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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