"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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