is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
