we have officially lost it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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