plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
