Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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