Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
