My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we're making bets on your personal life
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
