omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
