Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
