Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
