I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Oh god it's open bar.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize