Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize