Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
