So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
