Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize