i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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