Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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