So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
