So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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