she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
